100+ Funny Birthday Wishes for Friends and Family

Funny Birthday Wishes For Friends

Doing and saying something funny are certainly two entirely different things. Whereas telling a joke is something suitable for several occasions, making fun of somebody requires a really close friendly relationship, so that the other person feels comfortable enough not to be offended. However, even sharing a funny wish on someone’s birthday might turn out to be somehow dangerous if the birthday boy or girl is sensitive to jokes.

Two things you should consider before sending out a funny birthday wish:

Avoid cracking any jokes that will hurt the other person’s feelings.
Consider the person and his age while sending the joke.

Here are some funny birthday wishes and messages for your most precious ones.

Funny Birthday Wishes For Best Friends

Congratulations! You’re the only person that I don’t need a Facebook reminder to remember their birthday.
It’s your birthday! To celebrate, let’s grab a bottle of wine and go skinny dipping in our birthday suits. Oh wait…that’s a typical Friday night.
Happy Birthday! I love having you as a best friend. I get all the benefits of having a sister without having to share your crazy relatives.
Happy Birthday, Bestie. As your gift, I will continue being the friend your parents wish you never had.
I’ve stayed in touch all these years because you’re the only one that can handle my excessive displays of sarcasm.
Congrats on becoming a year older. Wishing you lots of love and hair dye to wash away the new gray hairs. Enjoy your birthday!
Dear Friend. Have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You know too many of my secrets. Happy Birthday!
As you reflect on your life, you’ll notice that I’ve been there through every embarrassing, happy, sad, proud, scary, and important moment in your life. Remember that the next time you’re mad at me… because I forgot your birthday gift.
Remember that age is just a number. Well, until you hit 60. Then you’re just really freaking old! Happy Birthday!
Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake. Happy birthday.
Warm wishes on your birthday! I didn’t bring a gift though. I figured it’s payback for all the trouble you’ve gotten me into all these years.
Happy Birthday! Here’s to me being the wild chick that drove all of your “goody two shoe” friends away.

Funny Birthday Wishes For Siblings

Happy Birthday, Sis! Here’s to sticking by you even though you’re the dork that’s still laughing at the joke five minutes later.
We’ve shared a room, clothes, toys, friends, and genes. Thank goodness we don’t have to share a birthday! Wishing you a wonderful birthday.
Happy Birthday, Little Bro. Here’s to celebrating the day you were born and took away the pleasures of being an only child.
You’re birthday gift is the privilege of having me as a sister. You’re welcome.
On your birthday, I have the pleasure of writing all of our cheap siblings’ names on the birthday card, even though I’m the only one who purchased the gift. Yay me!

Friends are for whenever. Sisters are forever. We have no choice. Happy Birthday!
You’ve always been the brother I’ve look up to…until I realized that I am way cooler than you. Happy Birthday!
The best part of being a big sister is getting to boss you around when mom’s not around. Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday from your little brother. By the way, thanks for setting the bar low, making it easy for me to excel at being the favorite one.
Your face should be plastered in the dictionary next to “pain in my butt.” But I love you anyway! Happy Birthday.
Never forget how blessed you are to have me as a sister. Have an awesome birthday!
Dear Big Sister, I’m glad you’ll always have a head to start over me in our race to old age. Have a spectacular birthday!
Today is the one day of the year that I am nice to you. Enjoy it because tomorrow I will go back to being the sarcastic, annoying sister that you hate to love!
It’s a good thing birthday wishes don’t come true. If they did, I would be an only child. Happy Birthday to you!

Funny Birthday Wishes For Spouse

Happy Birthday to the man of my dreams and the root of my nightmares. Love, your beautiful wife!
Dear Wife, thanks for sticking with me through the good and the bad. Sorry that it was mostly bad! Love, your wonderful husband.
Happy Birthday, sweetheart. I’ll wash the dishes for you. Though I can’t guarantee they’ll be 100% clean enough to eat off of.
It’s your birthday! You possess all of the great qualities in a husband. Did I also mention that it’s opposite day?
My dear husband, you are loving, thoughtful, considerate and chivalrous. I’ve taught you well! Happy Birthday.
After all these years, you know just the buttons to push to turn me on or drive me crazy. Have a great birthday.

Funny Birthday Wishes For Mom

Happy Birthday, Mom! I didn’t remind my siblings of this day so that I’d look like the better child for remembering your birthday.
Have a special birthday, Mom! Sorry for the nine months I took over your womb.
Dear Mom, it’s your birthday. As a gift, I’m going to let you bake me my favorite cake…because it makes you happy!

Happy Birthday, Mom. Wishing you many, many more to come! And I hope you age beautifully and gracefully. Because I have your genes and I will likely follow in your footsteps.
You are such a great mother. I’ve always wondered how you put up with me all these years and kept your cool. Then I found your wine stash and it all became clear. Happy Birthday!
Thank you for being the one person I can count on to love me even when I make the dumbest mistakes. Happy Birthday, with all my love.

Funny Birthday Wishes For Dad

Well, it’s been said that the older you get, the wiser you get. Well Dad, you must be really, really, really, really wise. Wishing you a great birthday.
Have an awesome birthday, Dad. No matter how old you get, you will always be the cool dad.
Dear Dad. I’m sure all those times you yelled at me, grounded me, and took privileges away from me were supposed to teach me lessons and make me a better person. I’m still waiting for that to kick in. Happy Birthday!
Dad, I hope you have a great time celebrating your birthday. Today is the only day a year I let you dance in front of my friends despite the embarrassment that will befall me.
Dear Dad. I learned a lot from you over the years. But I bet you never thought the day would come that I would have something to teach you: How to use your smartphone.

Funny Birthday Wishes For everyone

Be sure that the other person will take things in his/her stride.
Make sure that you share that kind of leg pulling relationship with the person otherwise things can get awkward.
Thank God that we have birthdays to celebrate. These birthdays always remind me of how old you actually are because you are always energetic, dynamic, creative, and lively person to be with.
So, how many candles are you yet to blow before your pension, and afterwards? I really think I have lost count of them, and I don’t think the counting will ever come to an end.
As a true friend, I always remember only your birthday, but not your age.
It is yet another opportunity for you to start living with a mind in the state of tabula rasa.
I actually think you are getting younger with each candle you blow. Your charm never ceases to amaze me. Happy Birthday.
I don’t care how old you are. All I know is that you’ll be older next year. Until then, let’s cut the birthday cake. Happy Birthday!
Your Birthday is so important that we find it impossible to take it seriously; so, let’s go crazy with celebrations.
I wish that you may leave forever; I mean you and I. Happy birthday.
Though you have added one more year, you have added one more quantity of wisdom in you.
Others view birthdays as the steps closer to their old age; I think you moving closer to your actualization.
Keep calm and tell us your real age! Happy Birthday!
Call it a paradox, but I always look forward to celebrating your birthdays, yet I want you to continue looking younger.
Tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a present. Thanks for the present-the happiness your birthday has brought us.
It’s your birthday; time to look back on your glorious past, revel in your many successes, and recount the brave tales of your youth… Over and over and over again, annoying everyone!
Remember when music was better and people were nicer, and children respected their elders? Oh, what am I saying. I bet you don’t remember your own name. Happy birthday anyway!
Happy birthday to the most important kind of friend there is – the kind who makes me look younger, old pal!
On your birthday, don’t worry about your age. Just count it in dog years. In your case, that would be… still pretty darn old!

The worst thing about having a birthday isn’t getting another year older. It’s having witnesses.
When you were a little kid, having a birthday meant opening presents, playing silly games, spinning around wildly for no reason, and eating cake till you passed out. By the looks of it, not much has changed for you. Happy Birthday!
On the day you were born, the doctor was a little late to the delivery room. Some dinosaurs were blocking his way! Happy Birthday!

- Happy Birthday to a dear friend. May you always have more hairs on your head than candles in your cake.
- I’m not saying you’re old and senile with one foot in the grave, but you better be prepared for the guy in the hooded robe that will knock on your door and it won’t be Halloween! Happy birthday!
- Happy Birthday! Remember when your hair was thick and your waist was thin? Funny how things change…
- This year on your birthday, don’t regret the things you’ve done in the past. Do new things to regret in the future!
- Happy Birthday! It’s an ideal time to reflect on the previous year and resolve to be even lazier in the coming one.
- Your birthday every year could also work as reminder to do your yearly prostate exam! Happy Birthday pal!
- Happy Birthday! Remember; birthdays don’t just mean that you’re one year older, they also mean that you’re one step closer to resting… in peace!
- They say wisdom comes with age… I guess you can’t be as old as you look. Happy Birthday!
- Birthdays are like doughnuts. Too many of ’em will kill you.
- Happy Birthday! May you have many more happy, healthy years. And if they run out, may the devil forget your address.
- Forget about the slimming pills, let’s munch the birthday cake. Tomorrow is another day.
- 35 years of experience and not a single grey hair. Did you get cosmetic surgery done on you or on your CV?
- Actually, I wanted to get you something super great, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope.
- Aged like fine wine, complex and fruity.
- Birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece? Aha, but I’m going to try it with my veggies!
- Birthday is a salty word if you’re not a fan of cake and ice cream.
- Congratulations on your birthday! Remember: Today, no sex! Because you need all your energy to blow out the candles!
- Getting older is really scary! Can I stop
- Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.
- I don’t know what age has done to you, but it seems like you have really been conquering it. Today is the prize giving day for the bravery you have shown so far.
- I hope you enjoy your birthday. You may never know how much you mean to me unless we switch places and you stand where I do.

I think there is nothing funny about having a birthday and getting old when you are already old. That’s why I am going to keep your birthday wishes totally serious. Happy Birthday!
I wanted to give you something unique, grand and loving on your birthday! But I just did not fit on the screen!
I was gonna make you a wine cake but now I am drunk this is just a cake.
If you’re born in the month of September, it is pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
I’m not 40, I’m 25 with 15 years of experience!
In the bathroom? In the toilet? On your desk? The fireplace? At 42, it is still a great achievement, to remember where the car keys were last! All the best!
Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. Can you remember?!
On this special day, take an oath that you will do as much you can in life, since your time is now rapidly running out. Happy birthday!
On your birthday some words of wisdom: Smile while you still have teeth! Congratulations!
Remember me? I asked this because you may be facing memory gap due to your growing age.
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
We know that wisdom comes with age. You see, you don’t have all the signs of aging! Happy Birthday!
With growing age, your looks go perfect…. with new wrinkle on your cheeks!
You have to really be something special! Today, 3,276,821 people have birthday, but I was only thinking of you!
You recognize the fact that you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
You think you’re something special because it’s your birthday today? You’re something special every day!